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Dad jokes

Out do dad this Sunday with these crackin’ jokes. We’ve compiled the best of the best.

What does a Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because its too far to walk!

I asked a French man if he played video games.

He said "wii"

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food's great, but there's no atmosphere.

For our Welsh passengers. ‘Beth yw mochyn sy’n gwneud carate? Porc tsiop!’

Which means: What do you call a pig who does karate? A pork chop.

There are two eggs in a fridge.

One says to the other: “Hey, you’re quite hairy for an egg.”

The other replies: “But I am a kiwi."

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Oh my God, breathe!

What did the grape say when he got stood on?

Nothing just let out a little wine

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to be smoking!

What do you do when there's a sink standing outside your door?

You let that sink in.

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?

Find out after the break.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

Because she kept running from the ball!

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What did the red light say to the green light?

Don't look, I'm changing!

What does a clock do when it's hungry?

It goes back four seconds!

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool!

I gave all my dead batteries away today

Free of charge.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1forrest1

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie.

What did the cheese say to himself in the mirror?

Lookin’ Gouda

Where do the Russians keep their armies?

Up their sleevies…

Did you hear about the Italian chef?

He pasta way

Why don’t lobsters give to charity?

Because they are shellfish…

One snowman turns to another and says “can you smell carrots?”

How do you hide a horse?

Mascarpone

Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?

The ultrasound guy

We’ll leave you with this joke.

I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said,

‘You.’

Happy Father’s Day, everyone.

All GIFs via GIPHY

From £635pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 19 reviews)
Trip type: 
Active
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
22
Minimum age: 
5

Summer Pyrenees Family Holiday

Andorra, Europe | 8 days
Trip code: 
AAFP
Families only
Family activity holiday
This family activity holiday is an action-packed, centre-based summer activity week cycling, walking and rafting in the fresh air of the beautiful Pyrenees mountains

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From £2,000pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Teen & Wildlife
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
12

Summer Iceland Family Adventure

Iceland, Europe | 7 days
Trip code: 
BIFS
Families only
Witness the power of the geysers - Iceland
Take your family to explore Iceland's natural wonders in Summer

Departs in:

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From £2,060pp exc flights
4.5
(average rating, based on 4 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

China Family Holiday

China, Asia | 14 days
Trip code: 
CBFA
Families only
Flying a kite - China
A journey of stunning contrasts through China taking in the most famous landmarks and more on this family holiday.

Departs in:

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From £2,935pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Japan Family Holiday

Japan, Asia | 13 days
Trip code: 
CJFP
Families only
Mount Fuji - Japan
Discover the contrasts of Japan's new and old, from Tokyo to Kyoto exploring mountains, forests and temples.

Departs in:

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From £995pp exc flights
4.666665
(average rating, based on 9 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Jordan Family Holiday

Jordan, Middle East | 8 days
Trip code: 
ERFJ
Families only
Jordan family holidays
Our family holiday allows you to experience the best of Jordan – explore Petra, discover Wadi Rum on 4WD and relax in the Dead Sea!

Departs in:

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From £495pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 12 reviews)
Trip type: 
Active
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Turkey Family Holiday

Turkey, Europe | 8 days
Trip code: 
ERFT
Families only
Turkey family holidays
Discover the rich history of Turkey on this family holiday in and around Fethiye

Departs in:

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From £2,095pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Active & Teen
Trekking level: 
5. Strenuous
Max group size: 
20
Minimum age: 
11

Inca Trail Family holiday

Peru, Americas | 15 days
Trip code: 
GGFA
Families only
Camping on the Inca Trail
An active teen family trip includes a home-stay and the Inca Trail

Departs in:

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From £1,930pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
20
Minimum age: 
5

Peru Family Holiday

Peru, Americas | 11 days
Trip code: 
GGFB
Families only
At Machu Picchu - Peru
A journey of discovery into the jungles of the Amazon and the Inca heart of Peru

Departs in:

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From £1,795pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Wildlife
Adventure level: 
1.Easy
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Galapagos Family holiday

Ecuador, The Galapagos Islands, Americas | 9 days
Trip code: 
GLFB
Families only
Sea-life - Galapagos Island, Ecuador
A land based adventure in the footsteps of Darwin to see the unique wildlife of the Galapagos.

Departs in:

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From £680pp exc flights
4.75
(average rating, based on 10 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

North India Family Holiday

India, Asia | 10 days
Trip code: 
HHFI
Families only
India family holiday
Get the best of both the North of India on this eye-opening 10 day family holiday

Departs in:

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From £875pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Comfort
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

India Family Comfort Holiday

India, Asia | 11 days
Trip code: 
HHFK
Families only
India family holiday
During this family holiday to India, discover it's majesty as you travel around the Golden Triangle, take a safari to find tigers,marvel at the famous Taj Mahal and discover rural Rajasthan too.

Departs in:

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From £1,125pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 11 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
7

Sri Lanka Family Holiday

Sri Lanka, Asia | 14 days
Trip code: 
HHFL
Families only
Sri Lankan family holiday
A thrilling family holiday in Sri Lanka where you and your family will be discovering the fascinating culture, varied landscapes & the amazing wildlife of this tropical paradise.

Departs in:

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Unpublished
5
(average rating, based on 3 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
20
Minimum age: 
5

Southern India Family Holiday

India, Asia | 15 days
Trip code: 
HHFR
Families only
Kerala canals - India
South India boasts temple cities, spices galore, stunning landscapes, jungles with wild animals and beautiful beaches.

Departs in:

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From £1,225pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 7 reviews)
Trip type: 
Teen & Wildlife
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
11

Himalayan Teenage Adventure

Nepal, Asia | 11 days
Trip code: 
HNFP
Families only
Locals - Nepal
Explore the temples, bazaars, foothills and jungle in Nepal's breathtaking mountain landscapes.

Departs in:

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From £2,235pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 5 reviews)
Trip type: 
Wildlife
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Costa Rica Family Holiday

Costa Rica, Americas | 16 days
Trip code: 
QCFR
Families only
Zip wiring, Monteverde - Costa Rica tours
Steamy rainforest, mountains and both Caribbean and Pacific coasts make Costa Rica the perfect place to observe tropical nature

Departs in:

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From £1,715pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Wildlife
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Costa Rica Family Adventure

Costa Rica, Americas | 9 days
Trip code: 
QCFS
Families only
Pacific Beaches
Visit the highlights of Costa Rica on this short adventure.

Departs in:

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From £1,200pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Cuba Family Holiday

Cuba, Americas | 11 days
Trip code: 
QUFA
Families only
Music is everywhere - Cuba
Discover the friendly island of Cuba with its fantastic beaches, jungle covered mountains, vibrant culture and stimulating history.

Departs in:

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From £2,145pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Active
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
13
Minimum age: 
8

Western USA Family Holiday

Americas, USA | 15 days
Trip code: 
STFF
Families only
Monument Valley
Get ready for a great American road trip, seeing the best that the West has to offer. Go beyond Los Angeles and San Fran and witness nature at its most superb.

Departs in:

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From £660pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Cambodia Family Holiday

Cambodia, Asia | 8 days
Trip code: 
TKFB
Families only
The delights of Cambodia await, from smiling faces to awe-inspiring temples and delicate handicrafts. Experience the joy of Cambodia on this exceptional family trip.

Departs in:

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From £1,145pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Borneo Family Adventure

Borneo, Malaysia, Asia | 12 days
Trip code: 
TMFG
Families only
Amazing jungles - Borneo family holiday
Be enchanted by the ancient legends and traditions of Sabah, make local friends on a village homestay experience a night in the wild on a jungle camp on this family holiday.

Departs in:

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From £1,045pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Thailand Family Holiday

Thailand | 12 days
Trip code: 
TTFA
Families only
Thailand
visit an elephant nature park, visit historic sites and play on palm-fringed beaches - the perfect Family Thailand Adventure.

Departs in:

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From £950pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Vietnam Family Holiday

Vietnam, Asia | 15 days
Trip code: 
TVFA
Families only
Halong Bay - Vietnam
You will shout "good morning Vietnam!" as you discover fine beaches, busy markets, idyllic islands and colourful cities on this vibrant Vietnamese family adventure.

Departs in:

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From £1,085pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Comfort
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Comfort Vietnam Family Holiday

Vietnam, Asia | 15 days
Trip code: 
TVFK
Families only
Halong Bay - Vietnam
You will shout "good morning Vietnam!" as you discover fine beaches, busy markets, idyllic islands and colourful cities on this vibrant Vietnamese family adventure.

Departs in:

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Trip type: 
Wildlife
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
12
Minimum age: 
7

Namibia & Botswana Family Adventure

Africa, Botswana, Namibia | 21 days
Trip code: 
UDFA
Families only
Quiver Trees in Namibia
An overland family adventure in South West Africa

Departs in:

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From £725pp exc flights
4.6
(average rating, based on 13 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
11

Egypt Family Holiday

Egypt | 9 days
Trip code: 
XEFG
Families only
Egypt Family Holiday, camel trekking
This Egypt family holiday is full of fun and discovery - sail up the Nile on a felucca, travel by sleeper train to Aswan, explore ancient monuments including the Pyramids and the Valley of the Kings and snorkel over coral reefs.

Departs in:

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From £415pp exc flights
4.75
(average rating, based on 3 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Morocco Family Holiday

Africa, Morocco | 8 days
Trip code: 
XMFE
Families only
Kasbahs - Morocco
Morocco is one of our most popular destinations for families with stunning scenery and a moderate climate.

Departs in:

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From £445pp exc flights
4.333335
(average rating, based on 7 reviews)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
3. Moderate
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Sahara Family Holiday

Africa, Morocco | 8 days
Trip code: 
XMFM
Families only
Camel Trekking - Morocco Family holiday
Leave everyday life behind as you journey by camel across the sand dunes of the Sahara on this exciting and great value family holiday.

Departs in:

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Trip type: 
Wildlife
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
7

East Africa Family Safari

Africa, Kenya, Tanzania | 19 days
Trip code: 
YDFA
Families only
Spotting game -  Tanzania
Overland Family Safari through Kenya and Tanzania ending with relaxation on the beach at Zanzibar

Departs in:

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From £1,830pp exc flights
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Azores Family Holiday

Portugal, Europe | 8 days
Trip code: 
ZAFA
Families only
Sete Cidades
Travel to the Azores Islands on a unique family adventure. Swim with dolphins off the São Miguel coast, get a taste of bucolic farm life and canoe on the Sete Cidades lake

Departs in:

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Unpublished
4
(average rating, based on 9 reviews)
Trip type: 
Active & Teen
Adventure level: 
4. Demanding
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
8

Croatian Active Family Holiday

Croatia, Europe | 8 days
Trip code: 
ZEFC
Families only
Water activities
A multi-activity coast-based family holiday to Croatia

Departs in:

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From £685pp exc flights
4
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
2. Gentle
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Malta and Gozo Family Holiday

Malta, Europe | 8 days
Trip code: 
ZJFM
Families only
Boat rides - Malta
An exciting week-long adventure to Malta and Gozo, the crossroads of the Mediterranean

Departs in:

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From £1,430pp exc flights
5
(average rating, based on 1 review)
Trip type: 
Cultural
Adventure level: 
1.Easy
Max group size: 
16
Minimum age: 
5

Italy Family Holiday

Italy, Europe | 8 days
Trip code: 
ZMFI
Families only
Bay of Naples - Italy
Take your family to Italy to explore the ruins of Herculaneum and Pompeii, discover Capri's , relax and delightful Sorrento and climb mighty Vesuvius

Departs in:

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